The perfect family.

Growing up in the LDS church, every Sunday we went tochurch. There was this family in our ward that came to church and they were the perfect family. Every one of them had their hair comb, girls hair done, wore matching outfits, sat up straight, kind and gentle to one another...on and on...So, this is my idea of the "perfect" family. Perfect kids, never talk back, mom always looking her best, dad smiling and so on. Louie and I did not start off in the "normal" way. The song says first comes love..(ok that happened), then comes marriage, then comes baby in the baby carriage....um... reverse those two and then you have us. So maybe that is why"perfect" seems so far away....right? Well, now perfecrt has changed to me. As I am now older and I have multiple children and husband with a hip replacement..our "perfect"would go like this: Everyone getting up and 3 out of 5 would have their hair...decent. Clothes would be somewhat right. Shoes on at least. There would be less then 3 unkind remakes made to one another( per child), and everyone would be less grouchy to help out. They would pick up their own things and I would not have to remind them more then twice to do it. Boy that just sounds like bliss! Now, if you know me then you know I write this with humor. To some, this might sound like I have low expectations. No.... I just have realistic ones. To others it might sound like high expectations, to which I say, WELCOME TO MY CLUB! First I DO love our children. Second I AM grateful for the opportunity to be a mother. The reason I write this is because today, I forgot that. Our family had a bad night, mostly my fault. I yelled and yelled and yelled at our kids. I let myself go beyond the realistic "perfect" and think that I needed the "perfect" family of my youth. I thought that: (say this is your most perfect voice)"OH! we are going to go to the temple and see the lights and walk the mall and feel the Spirit of Christmas. The kids are just going to LOVE this!" And they might have liked it, but loved, not so much. So when MY expectations were not met, I had a ...dare I say.... personality shift.( Yes that sounds nice) So as I write this, all the kids are mad, hurt orscared of me, my husband is thinking that I might need an exorcism, and I wish that I had a time machine to go back and redo. So there you have it. I hate that I let that stupid thought into my head today. I hate that I lost control and expected my family to know my expectations. Tomorrow has got to be better then this....

This month events

This month has consisted of:
Louie's surgery
Louie's doctor appointments
Louie's blood checks
Louie's physical therapy

That about sums it up...
I feel grateful that I have been sustained this last month. I feel grateful that I have been able to be there for my husband. I am grateful that I want to be there for him. This last month has gone by fast and has really brought our family closer together. That is ALWAYS a blessing.

Friends

I love my friends. I have so many great friends that have done the following things
*Taken my kids to practices for different things
*Almost taken them to practice, because I called and asked them to.
* feed them dinner
*Asked me what needs do we need.
*told me how much they love me
*cried with me
*been there to lift my spirit
*reminded me to laugh
*letting me know that I am not alone
*let me say cuss words and not flinch when I do
There are a lot more I could say..... but mostly I have to say, I have awesome friends! Even friends that I haven't seen in years or even decades that have helped me by there words or calling me.
Now, don't worry family you post in coming up soon...

Vows

As we were driving home from the doctor today, a thought popped into my head about our wedding day. We were married in a church,in front of family and friends, and although our wedding was not the traditional thing, the vows were. For better or worse, for richer and poor, in sickness and in health. Louie has been for the last part of the year last year and most of the year this year..in some sort of pain or another. Actually for the last few years, things health wise for him have been hard. So those vows that I took have definitely been thought of and contemplated over the last while. I have thought about my generation of people and I am not saying that ALL of the group is this way, but I have noticed how a lot of our "group", take these vows, just so they can get married and not really thinking "hey what IF my spouse gets sick"...or "what if I have to take care of them?" It is hard. I am not one of those people, unfortunately that is like "oh yes! I get to serve my spouse! I get to help him put on his shoes and wipe his nose!" Ok, I don't wipe his nose...but still you get the point. But I have to say, I am grateful that the Lord has reminded me of what I promised, not only to Louie, to our family, but also to Him. I know that this is but a small moment in the course of our marriage...it seems a little longer then that...but I am grateful that those vows mean something to me. Louie and I have had ups and downs.. the road hasn't always been paved with lollipops and icecream, but I have faith that this situation, has not only been meant for him, but for me also. It has helped me to remember that God does love us. That he gives us these things to humble us. That we are not being punished, only reminded of things we should already know.

My country western song

If my life were any type of movie, it would be a musical. Then I could sing about my hurt back, my husband's broken hip, having to raise five kids, getting out of the mud that was caused by flood waters, and our dog who has a growth by his eye.Maybe, my life is more like an old country western song....Anyway, life has been quite the adventure this week.We finally found out that Louie has a broken hip, thanks to my back hurting. I had a a severe back ache and went to a chiropractor and he helped me , and so I thought that he could help Louie who's hip had been hurting. He took an x-ray and found he had a broken hip. Divine intervention. Also on Monday, we had a HAA -UGE rainstorm and our house is in 4 flood zones away from town, so we had an adventure getting home.( I promise to blog about that adventure another day).So let's see if I can come up with a song...
My back was hurtin'
I went to the doc
He fixed me up and I was back on the clock
he found my husband
had broke his hip
my kids are loud and give me some lip
The rain came down
and caused a flood
what else do you want?
Probably my blood!
At least I have my sense of humor
but wait, then there's my dog
he has a tumor!
Oh when will this pity party end
Someone please be my friend?(Cecilia came up with this line)

I guess it is more of a blues song....

I used to be one once...

I used to be a teenager. Not only was I a teenager, but I was a GIRL teenager. Whole other set of teenager. In fact there are so many sub categories that go in to that, I just don't have enough time. And I know that you all were teenagers too. So it surprises me that when teenagers now days do things, that parents think, "Oh not my child."..or more specifically "not my teenager".Parents, do other parents a service. Love your teenager. Teach them right from wrong. Tell them that others have feelings. Tell them not bully. Tell them to include everyone. Tell them to be nice to EVERYONE....but...don't be surprised when another parents says that ...gasp!...your child is not teenager of the year. Don't be surprised...another gasp!...that they have done something contrary to what you have taught them. Now, I am optimistic that all my children will be the best teenagers.... respectful, kind, loyal... ( sounds more like a dog)...but, let's be honest. Every teen has their own issues. Every teen now and then is not perfect. Every teen whether they came from the best home is going to do things that are not what they are taught. DO NOT BE SURPRISED!!!! They all do it...we all did it, why? because we were teenagers! So, that being said I love our teenager, think that she is wonderful. I pray everyday that she will go out into the world and make it a better place. That all that she has learned from us, church, family and friends will make her into a better person, but just remember, she is a teenager...and they still have lots of growing and learning left to do....

All that glitters and other favorite things.

I have decided something and I am not afraid to say it. I love glitter. I love all the glitter makeup things. I love that I found these great products at Walmart called Hard Candy and they have all these great glitter lip glosses and mascaras and eye liners. I LOVE IT!!! Ok, so what if I am 32 I am aware that some of this stuff , probably all of it, is meant for the 16 and under crowd. But I love that my eye sparkle...literally. They are shiny and sparkly and well...duh...glittery. It is so much fun. So now I have crazy color hair and glitter eyes. What's next?....wouldn't you like to know..... Don't worry i am not going to go crazy...er.... Anyway... Here is some of the other trivial things that I love:
Lip gloss- the shinier the better what ever brand is the shiniest.
Loreal blackest black collagen mascara-it does make my lashes seem thicker and longer.
Manic panic hair colors.- they are so great and fun to put in
Flower hair clips
headbrands with designs or flowers or any thing that makes them unique
kiwi- cause they taste good ( I know- I am random)
I am sure that there are other things too, but it is late and I am not thinking to straight. What are some of you favorite trivial things?

Paint projects

This summer I decided that we were going to accomplish so much in the home decor area. We were going to paint every room to be unique and get it all done within a few weeks.Then summer started and mom said " I will take the kids for 3 weeks in July" and I thought....that is perfect. Louie and I will do the projects, painting and all that together, no kids in the way, no distractions...then I got watching Lost all 6 seasons...and then , hey, the kids were gone and we could lounge around with no one bothering us. So, it is now 3 months later and the good news is, one room got painted and others got at least one coat of paint....the bad news....well that is the bad news. And so now, I have decided that by Christmas,yes, Christmas for sure, most of the rooms...or the rooms that have at least one coat of paint, will have two coats of paint. And pictures will be back on the walls. Projects seem so much more fun when you are planning them...so for any of my friends, I'll plan any project you want, just don't ask me to paint!

The legend of the Stage mom

The legend goes as this: at a basketball game in Idaho, a woman irate at the referee for what she deems bad refereeing, takes her purse and hits him over the head. It is later reported in the local paper. That woman was my grandmother. The ref, was a fool to mess with her. The reason that I share this "legend" is because I think that my grandmother's spirit rests in me when it is game time. Or dance recital time. Or ...well any time that I am cheering on my kids. That could be at graduations, or school plays or...ok, let's face it, they could be walking down the street and I would get, as my kids and husband say, "over zealous". They say "over zealous"...I say proud. (They need to know that I love them, along with the rest of the crowd around us...) Luke had his first soccer game of the season and I was at 8 am very cheerful and supportive. Very supportive.So supportive, Louie said that Luke didn't know whether to listen to the coach or my support. I really can't help it. The whistle blows or the curtain goes up and I am like..."SEE! See my child! See that child...the gifted one, the talented one...right there! The only one that has all that talent!!"...So when you do see me or...ok, maaaaybe you can hear me...over everyone else...it's just the legend coming out in me.But honestly, can you blame me?...it's in my blood. And who knows, I might make the paper myself...:)

Do you Zumba?...

Last night I went to my first Zumba class taught by my friend Annie. It. was. GREAT. So fun and energizing. I felt awkward at first, because believe it or not, I am not a dancer and last night I also realized that I have issue going on in my brain. For instance, she would say swing your hips and I am sure that I was swinging them , but then I would look around and I wasn't swinging the way the others were or who knew that stepping forward and then back and then forward would be so difficult?....oh well. It was so fun and it mixed a lot of different dance moves and it was just fun to be there with other women. I am hoping next week I can figure out my body and directions better. Poor Annie probably was worried that I was having a seizure, or maybe that I was Elaine from Seinfeld. No, it's just me trying to find the rhythm.Or find my hips...

In my opinion...

I could begin this by sharing my friends opinion of opinions, but I won't. I begin this by saying, I was raised by a very loving mother. A turn the other cheek, be kind to your neighbor,blah blah blah. I was taught that. I was also raised by a very opinionated aunt who when she saw something that she didn't like or something wrong, you knew where she stood. Not that my mother didn't, but it was more a at home thing, where as my aunt let it be known wherever. I love them both and I love that I was taught by both of them. So, by now I have made a situation very clear that happened to one of our children on Sunday. She was told that what she was wearing to church was not appropriate. That they felt that she should wear not leggings to church and instead wear a longer dress. But it's not only this one person, but a few others that have given their opinions. I say given , because I nor any other member of family ASKED for what has been said to us on a variety of subjects. ( I guess that they just felt like we needed it whether or not we wanted it) So this has me asking the question: to confront or not confront. I do not like to confrontation. I would rather just belly ache at home until my family says stop, but this time I am really just fed up to here( yes, that high)about others expressing unwanted opinions. Nobody asks so don't give it. Now the thing is everyone when I tell what happens says "Oh that's just her." or "She's just that way."or "they don't mean anything by it." Really?... Well, guess what my friends, I am just this way. I am just the way of keep your mouth shut, keep your opinion of my 10 year old to your self. Is she rude, is she irreverent, is she a problem....NO!!! Do you tell a child your grown up opinion and embarrass her? NO!!! Now, I do like opinions and yes people can have there's....to me. To me who then can take what you say and use it or lose it. Who can understand where you are coming from as a adult. Who can understand that some adults are "just that way". But when an adult shares an opinion to a child who has been taught not to talk back and respect her elders., that is just plain unfair. So she then comes to me and I think..ok, do I become the mama bear with claws or the turn the other cheek woman? I guess I am gearing toward the turn the other cheek..until next time, which I am sure that knowing these people...it will happen. And then I guess others will say about me, " that's just her."

One of those days....

Have you ever had one of those days...where the pity party begins at the crack of dawn and lasts until the end of day. I think that today is one of those days. So what's my problem?.... nothing really. I mean of the scale of life this really isn't a major thing. I think that this has just been an emotional week. Friends of ours had a sweet 2 month old baby pass away and I think that has just triggered the contemplating of life . Where am I at? Do I have what it takes during hard times? Am I around those that will help me through times of struggle? Am I happy? Life just seems to do that when death happens. There are some things that I want to change but that are out of my control. There are some days like today where I just wish that I had a maid or fairy godmother that would come in and I could just stay in bed and watch all the shows on TV that I wanted and not have to worry about anything that is even needing to be don, that I could just shut down. I know that things could be worse. I know that in the grand scheme of things that my feelings are not as bad as things going on around me, but for today, I feel like that life is just a little hard to bear.I feel that today is just one of those days where I just feel a little down.Today is one of those days where I just don't want to be doing the busy work, or being all cheery, or any of the other nonsense things. I just want to feel down. I want to be sad. I want to feel unhappy. I just want to ...be. And then tomorrow will be different and things will be better and life will continue to go on. But for today, it just going to be one of those days...

The party is over

I title this the Party's Over, because that is what my mom always says " The party's over!"...but more in a sing song voice..anyway you get the picture. Summer is going, going, gone and now the kids will be back to school on Monday! And as of Monday I will have all but one of our kids in full time school. Mattea will be going to school next year. And also as of next year, I will have one in high school, one in middle school and then the rest in elementary school. Now, Louie is saying that next year is when the party starts,but I can't believe that this time of life is already here. So this next school year you might hear me talk about the next school year and now you will know why. Anyway this year will be fun. Bella (for those of you who haven't heard me brag about this) is the Student Body Historian, in National Junior Honors and also is the prettiest girl in school...( no vote was taken for that, I just declare it to be so). Cecilia is in the 5th grade and might run for some political office , so that she can be in charge...she likes that. Franki is probably going to be in the Gifted and Talented Program. Luke is going to continue to be the sweetest boy on the planet. And then there is ....Mattea. We are going to find MANY activities for this child! Come to think of it, next year for school can't come soon enough!.... So I guess that next Monday there will be tears...by me because I still cry every year I send them to school...and yes I cry for all of them...and then I will be calling my friends to see who will take Mattea! Just kidding...I'll wait until as least the second day...

Our trip to Utah

Every year our family has a family reunion...for the last 30+ years it has been the same weekend. This first started out as a family camp out. We would go to various locations and all the family would camp out for the weekend. This was so fun when I was a kid. We got to hear the same stories of Driggs, which in all truth I loved to hear even if they were told over and over.We got spend time with our cousins, and I just loved "hanging out" with the older cousins! Now, we still have the reunion the same time every year, but now we go a park and have lunch and see how all of our families have grown. I miss the camping, but I still love it! I feel so lucky to have a family like the one I was raised in. Now all of my cousins' kids and my kids enjoy each other and play well together. We also got to see my little brother. For those of you that don't know, I am my mom's only child and #4 of my dad's 8 kids. I have 4 younger siblings. My brother Domingo is great...(and ladies he's single!). He taught Luke how to box and bought the kids 12 lbs. of candy...serious...6lbs. of gummy bears and 6lbs. of Starbursts...(thanks Costco). He is so loving and is called Uncle Mango and Mingie...which I know he just loves!!! But the sad part of the trip was that my mom and aunt decided to put their dog Jaxon to sleep. He was suffering and they knew that he was having a hard time. I am glad that we got to be there to say goodbye. I don't live to far away from my family but when we leave it seems like we live so far away! I can't wait until the next time we go up there!

Hair

This the first color, not as bright as the fuchsia.

this is the current color

Let me first start this by playing the blame game... A few years back I went to Utah to visit. My cousin TerriAnne, who is 10 years to almost the day older then me, had started putting bold colors and funky colors in her hair. I secretly loved it! But, I also thought she had lost her mind...sorry Terri Anne...I mean why would you do that?It's so bold...and ..dare I say...FUN. no mother of 5 should be doing that to her hair...(gasp)...I mean heaven forbid!...Anyway, so then about 6 months ago my nephew Brian, who 16, came down to spend the weekend with us. He had wanted to put purple in his hair, but my bro in law, who by the way I do NOT get along with, said "No son of mine is going to look like an Easter egg!"( Read that with your most obnoxious voice) So of course I said that we should see what it looks like in his hair...it was great. Thank you Brian for demo-ing it on your hair. So then, since I already had blond highlights in my hair ( you have to do bold colors on blond hair or even white or gray), I put pink in..and guess what...I was still the same, but it was so much fun!! So I got fuchsia and did that in my hair. Ilove it! I have had blue, and now I have ultra violet. I did just a chunk of hair , but you can do all over and or highlights. I have done the highlights.... I am not that daring to do it all over. Of course the occasional reaction is that "What are you trying to be your kids friend?...or..."What you trying to do? Reclaim your youth?" (Obnoxious voice again) Well, I am only 32, so youthful already!... and guess what?.... This has nothing to do with being my kids' friend! I just enjoy it...you should try enjoying something! Anyway...that being said I do love doing it! And I love looking for more color to do in the future. No all over rainbow in my hair, but just something to make life a little more interesting.
Color products I love:
Jerome Russell Punky colors and Manic Panic
Jerome Russell is harder to find ( thank heaven for Amazon) and last a long time
Manic Panic is great to, but is fades a little quicker.

Oi! The day I had today!

There is a show called Funny Girl. In this movie , there is a line she gives..." Oi! The day I had today!" That is the best way to sum up my day Sunday. I am the Sunbeam teacher in primary...nuff said... right? They are some of the most active 3-4 year olds that I have encountered ( and I have had my share). Yesterday was quite the active day. One needed to go to the bathroom, one needed a drink, one needed a sedative!...just kidding..not just one ALL OF THEM! Is it wronged to give Benadryl out for snack time? I'm kidding...sort of. Finally at the end 2 parents were called in to help me with issues with their kids...which I am sorry, but I will do it....primary is not babysitting... and things just became to the point where if you can't beat them (literally), then join them. Luckily by that time we only had 5 mins left. So, then when I got in my car to come home, I took a deep breath, realized that next week I will not be there to see their cute faces, giggled a little (just for a moment), and then thanked the Lord that I made it through another week. They really are cute and smart and wonderful...and active, but would I want it any other way?....probably not.
So here's one great thing about each of them:
Gavin- he made a great picture of Jesus healing the blind men
Anthony- he was the most reverent boy I had...no joke.
Mattea-she humbled me
Kate- she gave great (and correct) answers
Josh- he has the sweetest smile
Gary- he passed the crayons out and kept track of every single one
Teren- she helped keep every one in line

Who knew perms could trigger all this?...

There are many of you that have probably heard me say this...but... I am still amazed that I am a mother to not only 1 child but 5!!! Isabella is our oldest and today she got a perm. Now why would a perm trigger this realization of motherhood for the umpteenth time? I am not quite sure. But looking at her there in the chair looking all cute and curly, just made me see her so differently. She is now 13 and I can't believe that first all, but now secondly, she has just started becoming this young woman in a matter of months..( I know that she has been growing for 13 years but still). Anyway, we were in the car and I thought...wow! I am her mother. I have this girl...young woman... as my daughter...and I still feel like I am THAT girl...that I am13 year old still trying to figure things out and wanting to get my hair permed...I love a perm! I wonder if any of you are the same as me. I am sure that you are. Life just seems to go so fast now. I mean, I am not THAT old, (even though 5 kids like to tell me that I AM THAT old)but it is one of those moments that I guess I just looked over and there wasn't a child sitting next to me. Who knew perms could trigger all that? :)

The reason

First off -welcome!
I love to write and I have noticed that lately I have a lot of thoughts and feelings that I want to express. When I was younger I wrote in my journal and I have started writing again, but, this being the technical age I want to have this blog as a place to write feelings or thoughts about anything really.
So that being said...if you do choose to follow this blog...I should warn you...I might swear...I might say things that might offend...or I might do both or more. I won't be vulgar,but I also won't hide some of my true feelings. I am just , as the title says, having an everyday adventure in finding myself. Come along for the ride...