Games/ Dirty Laundry- Warning to Wahl Family

WARNING TO SOME FAMILY!...YOU MAY NOT LIKE THIS.
Ok that being said and since this is MY blog, I am going to air out some laundry.I do not have a relationship with my in laws...meaning that I don't want one and I am sure that they don't want one with me.To say that I have tried, and in their way they have "tried"is a matter of opinion. My opinion of my efforts is that I have included them in our lives when it matters about our kids and their grandkids. I did try and understand their point of view, but that was wrong for me. I really did try to care about them...many times, but there are times you realize that the effort made and the reception received are just too exhausting, on both accounts.Eventually it became a game. The "let's pretend to care game". You know the game- I pretend to care about you and you pretend to care about me. We make small talk and then we exchange the normal courtesies and then we are done for a while.Well, guess what?. NO MORE. Two weeks ago we, meaning my husband and I - together ( they think I make all the decisions for him and he just follows along...I mean heaven forbid that we have this thing called a marriage) we made this choice that she said she was so supportive about and in fact acted like it was her encouragement that my husband came to the conclusion. Anyway,father in law, was NOT happy and apparently wanted to have my husband come and talk to him about it- long story short, that conversation did not happen, so cut to two weeks later. We went to a family gathering and I have to say, I absolutely have decided that I would prefer them not to speak to me. I am merely wallpaper( get it WAHL) anyway, do not act like that you care about me at all. It is a game I do not want to play anymore. But, DO NOT include my kids, your grandkids in this game. At this gathering, that was meant for a nephew, Not one word was said to our kids and even one of our kids who loves her grandpa gave him a hug and was not acknowledged in any form. Then, yesterday the ultimate insult, she (grandma) deleted granddaughter as a Facebook friend ("accident" supposedly). I know dirty, filthy laundry everywhere!! So why air it? Why not just let it smell up my house and let me clean it myself? Because like I said this is my blog and you can read it or not. Writing this for me, therapy I guess. I am not a game player. I am so tired of the whole thing. Our kids are wonderful. How dare they not at least act like some sort of grand parent!They have done nothing to them, even though I have to say if were really up to me, there would be no relationship, ever. They are kids. I do not use them against them. They can act like that they care about them all they want, but that really isn't the truth. Birthdays and presents do not make up for love and attention. But then really, do I want them in their lives? No, not really. Honestly, I want to shelter them from what I consider a toxic relationship. There are so many reasons why not, but that is just somewhere I don't want to take you.So game over.The game between them and me is over. Our kids, their grandkids I guess are the alternates since I am out of the game. Too bad for them (Grandpa and grandma).I grew up having relationships with both sets of grandparents and I guess part of me wants that for my kids, but they treated us like grandkids, not pawns or alternates in a game. So hey! Bright side! Why complain? They have started a game and nobody is going to play...

Schedule

I called a dear friend of mine today for her birthday and talked to her for about 5 mins. My intention had been to call her earlier in the day and have a great conversation with her and catch up on both of our lives. No, I ended the call with scheduling her in my planner for tomorrow. Yes, I have to schedule phone calls. In fact I feel I have to schedule everything, and then I hope that I remember to look at my schedule because, like something else I did today, I forget things that I have scheduled. Now I know that there are palm pilots, blackberry's, and um...whatever commercial that shows that they have the newest scheduling device....I DON"T WANT THOSE!! a- because I can't afford them and b- I have a planner...with a pen...I just find that it is hard to sit down and talk to my friends. I even was hoping to turn a park day into a kill- two- birds -with -one- stone and invite the women i visit teach and just get it all done in one swoop. Even though I am suppose to work around their schedule...blah blah blah...The good news is, I have made a schedule for our kids so that they can start being more aware of their responsibilities around the house and I don't have to hear that it isn't their job or their chore...now there is a schedule and a list of the chores and when they are in charge of them... so HAH! Take that palm pilots and blackberry's...I'm doing schedules the old school way of paper and a pen.

Just perfect

Last Saturday our family was able to be sealed for time and all eternity in the Las Vegas LDS Temple. The only words that I can use to describe it to anyone was these two...just perfect. We had a LOT of people that are family to us show up. Some members biological families were also there. As we were being sealed as a family, I thought...if this is what heaven is then I am ready! This journey to this point has really got me thinking of how truly blessed we are as a family. I wish that we could take pictures in the temple, but the mental picture and feeling that I will have is this....all of us in our white clothes, looking at each other, filled with love and happiness.There was no other feeling in that room other then love. People we love, people that love us, people waiting outside that love us.It truly was just perfect...

Have I mentioned this already....

Ok so Saturday is the day, our family is headed to the temple. And we are very excited, but I am afraid that I am getting over bearing about it.I tell EVERYONE..LDS, Non-LDS alike, "Hey guess what?". Some of you still are curtious to smile and say "yes, so exciting!" and other smile and look at me like" I can't wait til she quits saying this to me every time I see her..." Anyway, sorry folks but I am just happy.:)

Yep, I'm selfish...

Each of my friends have taught me so many things both as individuals and as a combined group. One thing that they have taught me collectively is that...I'm selfish.It's true. I love having my own TV time. I love having my own computer time (which includes Facebook browsing), and enjoy time to myself. I. am. selfish. All my friends talk about how much time they wish they had to teach their kids more, or do more with their kids or take their family places. And I listen to them and I think...you really do all that with your kids!? Don't get me wrong. I love spending time with our kids. I love going places with them and family time is important, but I also think me time is important..in fact, truth be told, I think me time is more...yikes!...Anyway, I look at it this way...happy mom= happy family.My kids aren't ...too bad. They think for themselves, they are taught by me and their dad the most important things. I just don't feel the need to be there for every cotton pickin thing they do....So don't go having a heart attack my friends, it's not that I don't love them, I'm just selfish...