14 years later...

Our anniversary was on Tuesday and I really had to think about the how many years. 14 years!! Wow! Really that isn't that much, but it really is! I got married when I was 18 years old...and I love when people tell me...oh, you are too young to be married that long...why thank you! But, this last week I have thought a lot about where my life was 14 years ago. Barely married and getting ready to be a mom. Married to a man that I had known 6 months, but fell in love with at first sight... really! Which is funny because he had no job, the wrong size clothes on, and his teeth were awful, but hey, what a catch for me!:) Sometimes 14 years can go by really slow and others times I can't beleive that another year has gone by so quickly. The reason that I am writing this entry, is because someone recently told me that they knew my husband better then I do. That basically they would always know him better. I took that to mean that the last 14 years were just ...nothing. But guess what?... they were not nothing...They are not nothing. You might think you know him, the past him, but I know him now.You may think that you know about our life, because you see us every 3 or 4 months, but I have been there for him.And he has been there for me.WE have been there for the good, the bad, the very bad and we keep building a life together. I have built my life, past, present and future with him. I have been raising 5 children with him. I have been there for surgeries, diseases, death, happiness, love, tears, birth and everything else. That is not nothing.We are happy. We are a family. I am sorry that this person cannot except that we have a life together. I am sorry that this person doesn't want him to be a great husband and father and would rather act like he still is a kid. That they think they know him so well. Guess what...14 years...now that is something.

Happiness...

What is bringing me happiness?
1. Louie...our anniversary is on Tuesday. I love him. I love his strength. I love that he comforts me when I should be comforting him. I love that we get to raise our kids together.
2. Our kids... they have brought so much love is my heart. I feel like it might burst! I love that they are unique is every way, but continue to work together to make our home happy.
3. My mother. She is an amazing woman. She give literally her all for us. She is funny and thoughtful and kind. i am grateful for her.
4.Music. I love all types. Just listen to my playlist. I might sound bi polar, but I'm not...:)
5. The church and ward I belong to.This is very important to me. They are truly my family.
6.Facebook. I'm sorry but I really enjoy it! I love seeing others and their lives and their families.
7. Herbal tea...helps out alot..
8. Last but certainly not least...the temple...very excited to go there with our family next month and make promises and commitments that bring us all happiness.

Cut or not to cut.. that is the question

When I was younger I had a period of time that I grew my hair out. And it did get long... ish...down to the middle of my back. Anyway, I had boyfriend that always said he loved long hair and so hey! I loved having long hair...until the break up and the ....chop! All gone. up to the chin. The point of me sharing this that I believe that I am not a long hair person. I really hate the upkeep. I mean some people, like our daughters for example, have beautiful long hair and do so many fun things with it, but I would rather have a shorter hair. Well, this last year the girls talked me into not cutting my hair for a year. A YEAR!! And so far I have kept to it. Hair color, that is something entirely different. Color away...not away as in go away, but away as in go for it...um, yeah, anyhoo...but it is so hard! I seriously think that if I had the "ideal" face, ya know the one that doesn't have the appearance of a slight double chin, that I would just chop it all, but no. Those dang girls! Well, I guess it's not that bad to grow it out, at least I am growing it out the natural way, I could go and buy hair and just clip it in and voila! instant hair! No I'll keep growing it and the we will see in August...that 's the year mark, if I keep going....

Superstitious

I am superstitious. I do the throw- the- salt -over- the- back, don't go out on Friday the 13th kind of gal. So this big event is coming up and we had one date in mind, and then it just didn't gel with my numbers. I know... weird. For some reason, 4 and 11 are my lucky numbers. Our old house was 4161...4 and 11in the numbers. Our house now 2081...4 can go into 20. Yeah, I am that lady. So when we came up with the date of March 12 for the Big day, it all came together. 12: 4 goes into 12- 3 times. We are performing 3 ordinances that day. 2011- duh! 11...Anyway so now that brings me peace of mind. I know scary. The there is the cake. We are going to have a get together after the Big deal, and I ordered chocolate cake. The lady that I ordered the cake from said she heard years ago that ordering chocolate cake for a "wedding" cake was bad luck.Oh no. Bad luck! Then I thought, well it is our family's favorite cake and it will make us happy, so...plus I watch those baking shows and people order chocolate cake all the time.... So, I will just take my chances. Louie says that I think about things way too much, but hey it's my thing...

Can't you just be happy for me?

Our family has some exciting things that are happening soon for us. Religiously this is the best thing and we are all very excited. When I shared this at an activity the other day, I had a very blunt person say to me..."Well are you sure that you are ready? Are you sure that your husband is ready?" ( You have to know this person, always got an opinion.) I said that yes he was and she just kept at it. Finally I thought "Can't you just be happy or me!? Why is it that we can't just be happy for each other. I understand that we all have ideas of how others could lead their lives better...you know it's true...but when someone is happy about something...it is none of your business to question that. Let them be happy. Yes, I have my worries, but I do not need you to vocalize them. And this I am sure has happened to you as well. I have a friend that when she got pregnant and was happy she had, that her own family gave her the "Ooo really?" face. Just be happy for them!! None of your business...unless they are homeless, on drugs and havea two headed kid...just be happy! So I write this because I just wish this person would be happy. Not bring up every insecurity I already feel or bring those doubts back in my mind. I know, I shouldn't worry about others for my happiness, and I am not. I just want her to be happy and let it go. Go home and voice your concern there. Do not voice it to me. So, I am happy ...we are happy. And I hope that I can be happy for you.

Patience

Now that I am a mother, I would love if our children had patience.Patience for each other, for others around them and especially for me and their dad. So , last night, one of our kids has homework that I will not even pretend that I know how to do.So I sent them to a child that I know knows how to help. Well, after about 5 mins, screaming was heard through the house and tears were being shed. So, what do I do?...I yelled, yelled at the both of them. "You need to help each other...be PATIENT!!!" yeah, that really helps. (By the way I'm also a yeller...) Why? Why do I have to be so impatient? I hear of other mothers that sit with their kids and guide them and love them and help the through their homework... and I wonder, why can't I be that mother? The mother with the right answers and the milk and cookies ready, and that sits down and patiently helps them with the school work. No I am the yeller that refers them to others kids in the house to help. ( I mean isn't that why I had them all is for them to raise each other). Anyway, I really hate homework, and believe me it is so different from when I was in school. They have so many more steps and higher problems and have to explain every. thing. It's very frustrating. So if you are patient and would like to help my kids with their homework, the job is yours. If you needa yeller and impatient mom, then, give me a call.

Anxious

Does getting older mean that you get more anxious? Our life this last little while has brought some anxiety. Not a lot, but there are times that I feel like it is a little more then I can bear. My mind is the problem. There are too many thoughts going through my head. Family- are they ok?...am I being there for them...Louie's hip, is he going to be ok?...did he recover well?... Bills...are they ever going to go down?... I try and remind myself when I start to feel anxious that we a really blessed. That things have been working out and that they are going to continue to work. We still have our home, we have health, we have each other. So why do I start letting those thoughts into head? I guess I just want some clear cut plan. I want to be able to see the future really? (Wouldn't that be great!) So now as I type this I wonder if any of you have this and how you handle it. I feel that I am trying to handle it good. I don't lay in bed and cry all day. (But I also think that that might be nice to do.) So how do you handle anxiety?